i am grateful that you don't think i am being judgmental even if i guess i myself feel like it is "wrong" of me to be angry or something like that. i am directly upset about what happened even if i wasn't directly involved.

also i realize i may have caused confusion, esp. with mention of the sedatives.... my cousin's friend hanged herself. she was not found lifeless in bed where cause of death might be debated/debatable. so, those who know it is a suicide, know, period, but also know not to tell people but instead tell the official version - that of the heart attack. the latter is what they are going to try to feed the children.

supposedly the covering up is "for" the kids, but i too believe its about the social stigma, no more, no less. i think it is abominable to try to cover it up like this to the kids because the account of the hanging is already circulating in their school, and even if they are away for now, it will almost certainly emerge at some point. and at that point, they will know they are being lied to by SOMEONE. and its pretty unlikely someone would arbitrarily make up a hanging story, so which do you think they'll buy. they are ages 10 and 12. my fear is that they will find out, and NOT tell anyone they found out, or if they do, they will just be told it isn't true. so they will NOT talk about it, and end up in very very very tumultuous teenage years with this huge unmitigated burden, and inevitable guilt (albeit undeserved). it could mean big trouble as i see it.

as for the book 30 pages is doable but i think before undertaking that i'll see if i think she might be receptive. it isn't like the issue will go away, so when i do eventually talk to her, i will decide.

~ waves ~