Well I went to my appointment and did what my therapist said to do by writing how I felt down. I gave this information to my doc and she became terribly concerned. She started asking me what I thought about going inpatient and stuff like that. I tried to get myself out of it but she said she wanted to do a med change and that it would be unsafe to do it as an outpatient. I knew what she was saying was total crap but what was I supposed to do? In I went! That was last Monday I cannot remember the date but I didn't get out until yesterday. I am not sure what places like that are supposed to do but they do not help me at all! For all of you that going inpatient does help I am not knocking it I am only saying it isn't for me. I actually feel worse now than when I went in. I wasn't handling stress very well when I went in but now I cannot handle anything. I had to go see my therapist today and that didn't go well so I left there crying. Normally my therapist and I get along but today he was very hard on me! After that I had to go to the bank and there was a mean manager there that I had words with. I didn't cry while I was in the bank but when I got outside in my car fell apart. I could barely breath! I had some klonopins in my wallet so I took one of them and tried to calm down enough to be able to drive home. I got home and called my mother and told her about all the horrible things, she calmed me do and things have been much better for the rest of the day. I just feel that I have absolutely no coping skills and my tolerance for stress is gone. I don't know if I left the hospital too soon or if there is something else going on but all I do know is that emotionally I cannot handle another day like today!

collinsc