this is a different friend....i wrote to my friend who is helping me and told her that the building said it was okay for me to get a dog. I told her that another friend said she would help in case i needed financial helpwith the dog. I told her my life was bleek and i don't see much of my friends because their plates are overflowing. I told her a dog would bring me joy She said I was treating her like a parent and seemed to be furious. I told her i was just waiting to die.
I told her like it was. I might also have scared her because i told her i was leaving dr.m. and was going to find another pyschiatrist and see him less.
I wrote that i was terrified of her anger. My new friend said that I should show good will and lose fifty pounds and show i really want a dog. he doesn't get it .she doesn't get it. nobody except a bipolar can seem to get it that you can feel so much pain for no reason but chemistry. I also wrote her that she might think i am a spoiled brat and she also used that to use my treating her as a parent. I HATE PARENTS. I NEVER HAD A PARENT IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE. INEVER RECEIVED PARENTING. THEY GAVE ME NEGATIVE SH@T AND I GAVE THEM MORE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
sure i am scared of the responsibility and the ability to spread my love among my animals. I was just petting yuki for fifteen minutes and telling her she was my bunny rabbit. abby is prowling....she is using her claws out more. i am losing it.
love
bobby