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Originally Posted by Yellowfever
Now I wish I said nothing.
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. I am done with being nice to strangers. I will no longer be vulnerable to manipulation. I will be the manipulator from now on.
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This is wrong but what can I do?
Sorry if I upset my friends I will not hurt you!
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Hi,
Be careful of your head!
Perhaps you are in a place you did not grow up. You are not accustomed to the ways people get around in the big city.
Maybe stay away from people as much as possible until your learn cues better.
I thought that people on the trains often try to ignore other people as much as possible. For example, they don't make eye contact, . .
I suspect this it not true of everyone.
I would have left that woman alone because I feel vulnerable and anxious to start with. I don't have enough energy to deal with strangers. Maybe you are in a similar way right now. In that case, save your emotional energy.
Also, I really really hate when a stranger says something helpful or nice to me. I look at them weird, mumble and move on. I don't want to engage with people. I'm not a weirdo -- I'm not. But I'm having a hard day and I don't want any interaction. Other people I suspect also do not want a complete stranger talking to them. Try leaving people completely a lone for a few weeks and see if things are better.
Do you have any one (female) who can travel with you on a train and give you feedback about how you are sending out signals?
Here is a good book about following your instincts, staying in close touch with yourself:
The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/T...Save-Your-Life
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Gavin says that unlike any other living creature, humans will sense danger, yet still walk right into it. "You're in a hallway waiting for an elevator late at night. Elevator door opens, and there's a guy inside, and he makes you afraid. You don't know why, you don't know what it is. Some memory of this building—whatever it may be. And many women will stand there and look at that guy and say, 'Oh, I don't want to think like that. I don't want to be the kind of person who lets the door close in his face. I've got to be nice. I don't want him to think I'm not nice.' And so human beings will get into a steel soundproof chamber with someone they're afraid of, and there's not another animal in nature that would even consider it."
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M.