Hi
You are certainly troubled right now.
There's lot of caring people here. We understand how frustrating it can be, although I've not experienced what you're gong through. When one's life is turned upside down, for whatever the reason, it is very traumatic for you. Here's a hug for you...
There's lots of research here. I'm sure you'll find helpful hints from other posts.
Depression is a difficult thing to overcome, as I am struggling with that right now. I know how difficult those dark, lonely and despairring moments are...(moments -

I wish)
I do find much peace and comfort in God's word. It seems to bring me back to center more than anything else.
I am much quieter than I have ever been, and that seems to be okay with me for now. I really couldn't find the words to express some of the feelings I have experienced nor do I even want to anymore. Not sure what that's all about either but that's okay too.
We're here for you. You're not alone in the big world. Others here understand.