Quote:
Originally Posted by dahlek
As Cy so eloquently put it, yes, we MISS who we WERE, but? WE ARE what we are now. If'n it were me? I'd call that last 'found' chick BONUS!
Now, you too have found a truckload of lemons in your front yard! What to do? Make lemon juice! THEN turn it into lemonade or better! Who's got the best apt SAFE sugar substitute of the day? THEN SELL IT!
First off when you get such awfulness, you ask yourself WHY ME? Well? Duh? WHY NOT! It's merely an unscheduled luck of the genetic and physical draw that YOU Got Lucky?
Yes, you have to mourn your past self! If you don't you can't learn to deal with what you have or might have in the future. There is a different future that you can make for yourself!
Yes! You have to fight for good diagnosis and then learn to deal with all the unknowns of even a great diagnosis! Then, get on with your life, allowing yourself some periods of 'grace' but also the butt kicks to yourself when needed!
Do allow that there will be good and not so good days. Also that the not good days always occur when you want to have fun. Also that for perversity's sake you will be having a good day when seeing a doc [durn it!].
Learn and become smarter than your docs! [Tho don't let on rite away? Just ask 'smart-stupid questions!'] Keep them on their toes that they aren't 'Doctor God' and that they are THERE to HELP YOU!!!!!! Make them work at it, challenge them, and you will gain respect!
So for all who have given you on-target and great advice? And for you too! HERE!  's Is that enuf to go around? If not I can click on more! Just wish I had a big dog w/a wet sloppy tongue to slather you all with the best happy dog kisses possible! - Keep faith and hope and heart! Without it we aren't human. - j |
Hi,
I think I just had a light bulb moment. The part you said about mourning your old self. I think I have not even begun to mourn my past self. I have had SFN for 2 years now. Probably a lot longer if I really look back but bad for two years. I have been so busy trying to find the reason that I have refused to believe that I am not going to wake up some day and me myself again.
I might cry and say why me every now and then but have never cried in mourning, just frustration. I find myself longing for the girl who spent 4-6 days a week for 2 hours at the gym. I don't want to sound vain because I am anything but, I miss my athletic look. I miss being able to run 5 miles a day. I miss the fact that my daughters couldn't keep up with me. (sorry dealing with SNF and getting older at the same time)
Emotionally, I have always been the rock for my husband and 3 kids now I believe myself to be the weak link. They are trying to take care of me. I won't let anyone but my husband. On a good note we have never been so close. My daughter said possibly this was Gods reason for all this. I had one foot out the door before this happened.
How do you do it. How do you make yourself accept that your not coming out of this the same person you were. Your life will never be the same. Does it come with time. I tried a therapist she was terrible.
I hope this doesn't sound like I am depressed most of the time because I am not. I actually am happy more days than not. I think the light bulb of mourning my old self just started me thinking. First time I admitted to myself that I am not coming back. Part of me knows it is true the other part is still screaming stop talking like that.
Thanks for listening, I wish they had a smiley face with a light bulb over it!
hopeful