When I read your comment, I was 100% positive that I'd found a kindred spirit because the worse year of my life was when I too had to give up my job. Here we are working our tails off for more financial security, retirement and a pretty decent life when BANG, we have an accident and our lives change forever.

I've never forgotten the day I went into my specialist office after being told by my employer that because of my medications, liability restrictions would prevent me from continuing my career as a 911 operator/programmer. Even though the nerve damage and RSD had for the previous 27 months aggressively progressed and everything I'd call normal was no longer a part of our daily lives (sailing, sleeping in a bed, sex, the little stuff), I kept denying to myself that things were steadily getting worse. "Doctor, am I disabled and do I need a wheelchair?" "Bob, I knew that until you came to me and asked these very questions, you'd never accept me telling you outright that you're now disabled and will have to live the rest of your life on wheels, but like it or not - that's just the way it is." But hang on! What's going on here?

And so if I'm a betting man, I'd say you're right now at the stage of trying to reevaluated out what in the heck is going on as you start a new battle within your psyche as you try to figure out who you are and what you're going to become, not to mention the little things like, is my health going to get worse, how much cash to I have and what in the world do I do now just to name a few. Retirement is a dream we work our tails off for, but being disabled just isn't the same.

You've got your head on straight so I know you will find a new normal out there somewhere, but don't beat yourself up along the way. This isn't your fault, it's just fate. Since life won't function in a void, you will find new ways within your newfound limitations to still live, only it's just going to be a whole lot different than you planned. Being disabled doesn't mean you don't produce, it just means you'll change the way you do it. I'm betting you'll find yourself getting involved with volunteer organizations, find new hobbies you never would have thought of in a million years and change in ways that will blow you away as you deny, battle and eventually accept these changes your injury and RSD has brought about.

No, you won't get an ulcer while awaiting disability eligibility because your doctor will have documented exactly what the cause of the damage is, where you're at now and your prognosis, hence well documented medical cases are rarely denied. It's only when the doctor haven't really figured out what is wrong with you that these problems arise. SSD will be able to tell in one minute that you're not trying to find a way to spend your days watching MASH reruns and that you really are disabled just by your attitude. Sure, it's time to hang on for dear life, but you've still got some dear life ahead I promise you. Bob.