Annie,

I just want to say that there are two completely different categories of things I am trying to learn from other people on this list. The first is medical. But the second is just as important: I want to learn how to be a fine human invalid (sorry if that word, "invalid," is too strong. I know we're all striving to be as independent as possible, but I am still in the "rapid decline" stage of my disease. I don't know where the bottom is going to be. I am trying to be ready for the worst.)

Anyway, you have no idea how formative it is for me to observe the way you, and other kind people here, take care of the rest of us even when you're so sick yourself. It opens my eyes. It sets up an ideal for me to strive for. It gives me hope that even if I get really sick, I can still put myself in service of other people, and live a life that's not completely centered around myself.

Honestly, Annie, you can't imagine how important that is to me. Life-changing, really. I think on some level I have a fear that, if my disease gets bad enough, I won't be me any more, or won't be a "real person" any more, or will be somehow removed from the ordinary community of human beings (I'm not expressing this well). To see from your example that that's not necessarily so means the world to me.

Abby