I've been depressed for two years going on on three it was berriable untill last year year. I tried for the first time to kill myself a couple ways(pretty stupid only). By my post u can tell that I'm still alive. Anyways I get happy then I get so down and I want to end it. I don't becuase edit seems bad as well as any other option. edit. The down side if you don do it right u could be alvive and even worse sitation. Getting to my question, it seems that the one thing keeping me from ending it is how it would affect my family,friends,etc. Anyone who delt with a loss to sucide could do me a favor an write a response. I know it's selfish and help is so close but I feel like payig some one a lot of money is stupid.(my parents money/health insurence) I've talked to shrink before but I never was able to open up to him truely so parents didn't want to pay the money. Then we stopped.