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Old 06-03-2010, 07:10 PM
SeamsLikeStitches's Avatar
SeamsLikeStitches SeamsLikeStitches is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Santa Clara CA.
Posts: 306
15 yr Member
SeamsLikeStitches SeamsLikeStitches is offline
Member
SeamsLikeStitches's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Santa Clara CA.
Posts: 306
15 yr Member
Default Today I realized I'm scared to death of stopping my meds!

I was commenting in one of the other posts about getting Social Security, asking about how people go for so long without income, because it would cause me to lose my insurance, my home, car, and eventually my medication.
The only reason I can get up in the morning and function is because of my meds!
Last month I forgot to refill my meds, and I had to go for three days without them. The first day wasn't bad because I still had some residual effects in my system... the second day was a little painful, I got somewhat nauseous ... but the third day... I could barely make it to the bathroom. I wanted to chew the head off anyone who came across my path and it reminded me of three years ago when I was going through diagnosis and experimenting with which medication was best.
After going through that three days of no medication, I don't know what I would do without my Topamax and Paxil. I have been on them for three years now and I can't function without them.
However, if you had asked me 10 years ago if I would take medication for a problem, I would have told you "NO WAY!" Everything can be managed with diet and exercise!!! I NEVER took aspirins, I never took vitamins, I ate healthier than Jack Lalane!!! I ran 5 - 8 miles a day, and there was no way I would ever believe that I would be addicted to taking medication... OR weigh over 200 pounds!
Today, an hour ago, I realized I am HORRIFIED of the idea of not having my medication available to me ! If for some reason my insurance and income is cut off, how will I get my drugs? I don't know if I can handle the pain again? Knowing what I know now... I know I can handle it for a while, but also knowing that it will never stop... is a very scary thought.
I currently have at least a 3.5 or 4 level, so that I can function at work and drive a car. If I take more meds, I will lose the ability to think clearly enough to work.

This is a very scary place to be in!!!!!!!!
__________________
Terri

Peripheral Neuropathy Since 2004
Learning to give my mind and body the care and feeding it needs to serve me to the fullest, so I can continue to be here with my family and friends.
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