What an awful way to feel Lonely1. I wish I could reach through this screen and give you a hug. "The antidote to depression is to surround yourself with people who care"....now where to find those people is the question. You are looking back not forward..those people are not your friends and they have proven that over and over.

I'm sure I have suggested this to you before...please try volunteer work.
Either at a nursing home, a homeless shelter, the humane society .....
they need and would welcome your help and it's a feel good situation...what goes around, comes around.

Only you can change your life and you are worth it!!!