Debbie, I am sorry to hear you did not get into the clinical trial. All things happen for a reason. From your description you seemed to have progressed in disability in just the last two years. I also give your neuro credit for actually being considerate of a patient's financial and insurance situation with regards to tests. That is rare in itself.

Depressed? Okay, be depressed for just a couple of days then get on with your life. It is concerning how, after being diagnosed and symptomatic for this long, you still "wish" it would go away etc. I admit, my attitude is very much hardcore in not wishing for anything, rather evaluating my current circumstances, making a decision, and moving forward taking action in the direction I desire to accomplish. Again though, that is me and I only share that with you as an example, but by no means saying you should be like this too. We are all unique.

You are really like this though. You said, "I am really ******!" I love that attitude because when dealing with a terminal, or chronic in your case, disease, many good things come out of being ******. You got guts girl, can't deny that!

Well, take a couple of days, gather your thoughts, be grateful for where you are, gifts you've received, abilities that remain, get up and keep on going where you want to go. You are strong like that, or you wouldn't have even considered going through the evaluation for a clinical trial.

Be blessed in the day you have been given.........and go kick some *****!