The "dryness" comes with aging. Every woman gets it eventually as estrogen levels fall.

You can try an estrogen vaginal cream in low dose. It typically works locally and won't be absorbed too much if used carefully.

There are lubricants too.

Also mucus membranes everywhere in the body are supported by essential fatty acid intake, so if you are not eating Omega-3 foods with flax oil, your lungs and other membranes will be dried out too. When I started with EFAs a decade ago, my GERD and asthma cleared right up within 3 months! I used to have terrible bronchitis from catching things from patients, and now I don't even get colds! I may get one episode every 4 to 5 yrs now.

One thing that makes "dryness" worse is overuse of soaps, or failure to rinse adequately. Be very careful of this, because it causes burning and inflammation, which can be interpreted as "dryness" too. I think this is the Number ONE cause of female discomfort after menopause! Using a pH baby controlled soap in very small amounts and rinsing carefully can really help IMO.

You know the media is discussing a female Viagra now, and I think this is just the wrong description of the drug that is trying to target female libido. Viagra for men does not increase libido, it increases Nitric Oxide which dilates blood vessels, and enhancing performance. But that is all it does. The female Viagra is an SSRI type drug to work on the BRAIN! I am not liking this topic AT ALL. If you search topical Viagra you can find older studies on females which showed some promise in application of a lotion form before sexual activity. This improves blood flow to the pelvic platform, and enhanced sensitivity. Why it never caught on further, escapes me.

Blood pressure drugs, antidepressants, anti-seizure medications, opiates, all interfere with sexual functioning. Long term opiates depress testosterone in males by suppressing the pituitary-hypothalamic axis. I think this happens in women too.

People vary in how they express themselves sexually. It is a very personal and individual behavior. I think we should strive to not fall into competitive traps by comparing ourselves to others.(or to ourselves when we were younger )