Hello SeamsLike

My dear lady you sound like you are really go through a bad time, and i sincerely send you positive thoughts.

Depression is a Cancer in all but name....if allowed to it spreads from the mind to the body....and comes out in all sorts of physical ways. It is dibilitating and very cruel in the way it isolates its victim.....Depression destroys self confidence and encourages introspective thinking. It kids us into believing that if we stay quiet about it it will go away on its own. In this is the answer? it does not always go away.....it can worsen into clinical depression that then requires medical intervention.

Whether it be through medication or talk therapy, severe depression will last a lot longer if untreated or undiagnosed.

How do i know this?......because i suffer with this evil illness. I too have BP... And only this last week have gone back on medication after a year away from it.
Why? because all the signs were there that told me to go and TALK TO MY DOCTOR.

Over the years i have learned one thing about depression....and that is I KNOW when i need to ask for help......it may take me longer to ask than my family may think....but i know when its right for me.

you have suffered a great deal of emotional trauma these past seven years, my friend.

Its time to talk it through with someone [ but you probably already know that yourself....and like me..you will ultimately know when to start talking to those you know can help you]

Please always remember that we live the life we live.........your mothers death was part of her life........your ex-husbands life will undoubtably be part of his future. [you reap what you sow].....and your daughter's addiction is part of her ilfe, and sadly only SHE can alter that life choice ...NO-ONE ELSE [not even you as her mother]

Good luck with your visit to the doctor...... [rember this is not a dress-rehersal we get one crack at this life.... if you can get help to fix the cracks ...then get it...this life is one hell of a bumpy ride and more cracks will inevitably appear along the way]

my thoughts are with you on this torid journey you are taking.

David