I understand!

I was a very hard worker before this. 80-100 hours a week, all on my feet. I was the "Type A" personality. Totally ADHD, great shape, very athletic. NOW I have mastered the art of "Chillin' like a Villin".

AND, I have to admit that I am a much more relaxed person. I get to spend much more time with my family and friends. I am able to sit outside and enjoy the birds and squirrels. I can not only see the sunsets, but get to enjoy them.

I do feel crappy and incompetent (sp?) when I can't get things done. (Which is every day) But, I have a great Husband who truly understands how I feel (especially when I am on the floor screaming from the pain).

My "new" outlook on life is - "I will try to do my very best each day. I will try to keep moving and stay ahead of the pain. I will also be kind to myself and attemp to be productive; but not try to be the person I used to be..." It sounds good to me on "paper" but it is very hard to enforce. Oh, yeah...I find inspirational notes within my readings and stick them all over my house. Sometimes I just force the happy thoughts down my own throat to re-train my brain to be positive!.

I think that however we can manipulate our brains to seek happiness is always a positive.