Hi RhiannonsMoon.

Sorry to read that you're experiencing this distressing problem. It's not something I have, but I have heard about it, and you're right in that general consensus seems to be that it's caused by anxiety or other emotion-related reasons.

I found quite a lot of information about vaginismus on the Internet, and this explanation on a women's site, seems to be quite good.

http://www.empowher.com/media/reference/vaginismus

From what I read, treatment consists of a combination of counseling, education, and muscle exercises. Some doctors also prescribe a muscle relaxant or anti-depressant, while most would add a vaginal pessary and/or cream to help with the dryness.

I hope that helps some what.