Hi Harry,
It sounds like your headaches could be part of the epilepsy I used to get them all the time after a sz. or if there is a low pressure in the weather right before it would rain or snow I would get headaches. In regards to feeling like you want to end your life, this could very well be a side effect from some of your sz. med (AED's) that you are taking. It's been proven by the FDA that lamictal and many other AED's will cause a person to feel suicidal but they never go through with it. I know since I've been on keppra I've had those side effects but since I cut my dosage back I don't get that feeling anymore.
I personally think it's a smart move to get away from the psych because often they don't understand epilepsy and how the extra electrical activity going on in our brain can cause chemical imbalances and trigger sz. make a person more depressed, and moody. I've learned that you just have to take it one day at a time and to be thankful for all that you have.
From everything I've read it sounds like you are having complex partial sz. and I've had that type of sz. for 36 of the 38 yrs. I've had epilepsy. This type of sz. causes a person to see different colors that are not really there, get a nervous feeling in the stomach, start to hear one word repeated over and over, as well as blanking out and wandering around not even realizing what's going on but the person will still talk to others during the sz. This is what happens to me each time I have a complex partial sz. If you have any of these symptoms tighten up the muscles in your body and make your hands into tight fists by doing this you can often stop the sz. I learned about this back in the 1970's when I first began to have this type of sz. Play it smart and go to an Epilepsy Center and see a team of Drs. that work together, an Epileptologist, neuropsychologist, and if possible a neurosurgeon they will all work together to find out what's going on and they will be of a great help to you. I wish you the best of luck and May God Bless You!

Sue