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Originally Posted by Mari
I am 100% not interested in working on his issues with him.
(It has been my role in the relationship to help him with his issues and I have been backing off from that role for the past year.)
He could be a grown up and work on his own stuff with his own professionals and with some groups.
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have you communicated this clearly to hubby? ... recently? he might not be 'reading your signals' in this area. he may need to have it spelled out in words. maybe even a little repetitively.
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A few years back he went to a few counselors and got good help for some for issues regarding his parents. He could go again and find his own counselor for help dealing with his other stuff.
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i agree he has to be willing to work on his problems. maybe hubby could use a reminder that he did something in the past which worked too. and that you need him to do that again. then you could focus together on your interactions / needs from one another.
but i'm thinking what you have expressed here, he needs to hear from you.
men can be dense. and women are notoriously 'mysterious' to them. the two genders do think differently, and cultural aspects may play a role, too.
successful relationships sometimes require stating the 'obvious'.
~ waves ~