Originally Posted by Mari

Hi,
I don't know what to think. I am thinking.

He has an off on switch with not a whole lot of middle: intensity vs calm.

Later, I did ask him if he was angry during the tdoc session. He said, "yes." I went back to ignoring him, not willing to deal with that anger until he simmers down a bit. As long as he remains angry and anxious, I can't talk to him about issues. (It's sort of like being manic -- he is not rational at the moment.) Since the tdoc session, we are being nice to each other as long as we don't talk much.

We sleep and eat at separate times -- for as long as I can remember.

I am very clear about my needs and wishes.
He knows exactly what I want. He can tell you want I want.

This is the third or fourth summer in a row that he has been difficult. He has a heavier teaching job in the summer than during the regular year because he takes on extra classes and gets stressed about the odd times and extra travel.

I do not want to go to a marriage counselor unless he were working on his own stuff.

The last time I tried to get him to go to a counselor he went three times. I wanted him to work on his hoarding. Hubby did not reveal the extent of the hoarding so the counselor dismissed it, saying it seemed like a phase.
I think that the counselor did find him to be rather uptight about structure. The counselor told him to let go of rules (self imposed, and other, . . . .) Hubby quit after that.


I can't really afford to see tdoc because she is not on my insurance plan. I'm considering dropping her or cutting back even more -- which is almost to nothing the past two years.


M.