Hi Pete,
I haven't been on the boards for a while...got some challenges goin' on...but I was compelled to answer your post...

My heartfelt thoughts and prayers go to you in the passing of your Stepmom..it sounds as though you had a loving relationship despite the distance and the time lapse...

It's sad enought to lose someone, and it must have been compounded for you when the heat got in the way of your loving intentions. I'm sorry for the pain and the swelling and discomfort you are going through with the heat...

Pete, since you weren't able to go to the funeral, it might be helpful for you to honor your stepmother in some way at home such as light a candle for her,
or write her a letter from your heart, or when it cools down a little, get away to a place in natue, (a park or a little wooded area close by) and say whatever comes from your heart to your stepmom...
It will help to have some closure for you..and it will be very meaningful because it will be your own, and it will come from your heart..

There is no room for guilt, when love abides in your heart and your intentions are good.
I'm sorry you didn't get calls from your family....maybe they're dealing with their grief...so many different emotions surface when we lose someone...

I hope the heat lifts soon for you so that you can start feeling physically better....and I hope you are kind to yourself...
love,
from Hope4thebest