Hey Pete,

I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like she was very special to you and I'm sure there are many special memories that you have of her. Think of those through this difficult time. I'm sure she wouldn't want you to make yourself feel worse by feeling guilty. If your health would have allowed you would have gone. You made the right choice!!! Had you gone you could have ended up much worse and your step mother wouldn't want that for you. Death in its self is difficult to deal with add your uncontrolable health condition and it is even harder. Notice I said uncontrolable don't feel guilty about something out of your control.
Your step mother was a women of faith and chose prayer as her sustainer. You need to do the same right now. Ask God to cover you with his peace that passes all understanding. You know it works when you live with RSD/CRPS His peace is essential to our ability to cope.
Take care my friend,
Sherrie