Pete, I am so sorry for your great loss. I will share my way of remembering with you as this this something that has helped me. I plant a tree, something in my yard, or a park, where I can watch it grow and some times go to it and remember. I lost my beloved grandmother on Valentine's Day this year, but I have "her" tree to nurture, sometimes talk to and to remember her by. I am glad that you made the right decision to take care of yourself, as she would have wanted you to do. She knows that you were there in spirit. Blessings my friend, Lisa