It can be a long and very exhausting road to find the right medication but it truly does work... YOU have to make YOU worth it. Everyone who has written to you here is writing from their own personal experience ... and all of us wish (well, at least I certainly wish....) that we could wave a magic wand and make being a human being just a little bit easier.

We can't help that we were born with the depressive gene or whatever "it" is that makes us who we are today.

There are many differences between us, universally (different life circumstances - different health plans - different environments)... but for the most part, we are all simply humans battling the unknown inside our brains.

Seams, I applaud you for recognizing that you need help... it takes a ton of energy that will perhaps send you deeper into the pit before you climb out... but we really do know that that pit is indeed climbable (is that a word)... however, when I am in the deepest part, I tend to forget, too.

I am so sorry that your work place has put you in an even more dangerous position (mentally) by putting you on probation. I sincerely hope that you can get a doctor's note which will allow you time off (disability with pay) so that you can work through this. My medical plan (I'm in Canada) thankfully allowed me to work through the worst times in my life by taking up to a year off work.

The more you talk to people, the more you will find you are not alone. Being here and writing about it is a huge step towards wellness... many of us who come here know that as it has worked for us.

I love my medication and will never go off it again... it took MANY different tried to find the one that worked for me. I am so grateful that I had the patience and support of friends (here and in "real" life) and family.