Oh Dear LastNerve- It is truly Wonderful to learn of your Trial on the 16th!! I am shouting for joy!! I admit going in for my Trial I felt no trepidation, just a bit of nervousness, this poking wire leads around in my spinal cord space,,, but it worked, and get this, IT WORKED FANTASTICALLY!!

The evening before the Permanent Implant, for some reason, I felt an overawing sense of "WHY AM I DOING THIS???? WHAT IF I CAN"T STAND HAVING THAT FOREIGN STUFF WITHIN ME????" And then I settled down to pray, knowing also that others were praying alongside my family and me. A calm that sets aside ALL fear came over me that evening. Every fear was dashed. All thoughts of poor judgment were cast away. I became centered, focused, ready for the implant, knowing we all as a team had worked hard to arrive at the moment when I might taste of freedom from pain, and that it would not just be a week trial this time, but it would basically be forever. God led me into a place of peace, peace that overcomes all fear.

The next morning, we gathered at the surgical center, and this CROWD of folks from our church came into my pre-op area and our pastor led us all in prayer. My surgeon was there. He was aware this was a procedure bathed in prayer. He was ready. And interestingly, by name, I recall the entire team of medical professionals who were there with us that morning. Spiritually, we were focused. Then, the capper came along, my anesthesiologist, came to brief Cleo and me, while the whole prayer crowd was still with us. It turned out our anesthesiologist's name was Hope. HOPE!! Do you get it? This is exactly what we have been feeling ever since the Trial, that there was HOPE for our lives now. Oh God, I had confessed many times the desire to end my life due to pain, and there He was again, holding out the hand of one who would have my life in her hands, and her name was Hope!!!

So, LastNerve, this is what I pray for you and will pray throughout your surgery, that all of you, inclusive of your medical team are bathed in God's presence and that through the procedure you will emerge filled with HOPE!!

Since my permanent implant, two weeks ago today, I have been ready for Hope to shine forth in my life. Last Friday we first calibrated my little implanted computer, the group here helped me select the name of PJ [meaning Praise Jesus] for the little guy. I MUST tell you and all since we first turned on the implant in my body I HAVE FELT NO NERVE PAIN AT ALL. None. Zero. Zip. Hope has been shining through my eyes ever since.

I meet people on an errand while I am out for a little bit [still recuperating you know] and they say "Mark!! You're back!! I can see it in your eyes that you are smiling from within." You see, those folks have been alongside during these years of relentless pain and suffered with me, seeing in my eyes despite my attempted smiles that I was crushed with pain inside. Now they see me FREE! I have gone outside and shouted "Thank GOD I am FREE!"

Sure, I am still on the pain meds which brought me to this point, and we have to strive to remove them from my life, but I have HOPE I can live free without them. You, too, LastNerve have the opportunity to feel and claim HOPE. I guess this is why I have gone a bit too long with this post. I just Hope and Pray for you this is your result as well.

Rest well my friend, HOPE is on the way,
Praying for you,
Mark56 PJ