Hi, I just found this site today and I thought I would introduce myself. My name is Tara and I am 29 years old. I am an elementary education major and want to be a reading teacher someday. I am not new to chronic pain because I have been experiencing it since I was in my teens. It is frustrating because I have lost all my friends because they could not handle all my surgeries and being in the hospital. However, I did recently get married in May and he is definitely my main support and he is very good to me. He gets scared sometimes because now he knows more in depth about my health problems and he gets mad when the doctor won't listen to me.

I was injured in a car accident in spring 2008 and it resulted in horrible burning stabbing pain in my lower back and down my right leg. They did steroid shots, tried many meds, and physical therapy but nothing lasted and in August 08 I ended up with a permanent neurostimulator. I loved it because I could walk all over campus and do most of my normal activities again! It was so great that I did some speeches about it at school and I became a patient ambassador at my doctor's office, I even would talk to people in the waiting room who were thinking about getting one! But, last year in April my leads had moved and I ended up having trouble in both legs and my back.

My doctor did a revision and I was okay again and I loved it because I was not on pain meds either its so hard to do schoolwork while being on meds! BUt In September I had a really bad fall (I had lost feeling in my right leg all of a sudden) and ever since then my stim has been very different and not working right. My doctor sent me to the neurosurgeon who said I had RSD and made me get a sympathetic nerve block and it made things worse! And now the pain is a lot worse and so bad I have to use a wheel chair to get around campus! I went last week to see her for the follow up and talk to my stim guy and he thinks that my device is messed up again and they will have to fix it. Then he left the room and my doctor comes in and says that she is making me see a neurologist because she believes there might be a problem with my brain causing the numbness (which makes me fall) but then I told her that the stim guy just said it was a problem with my device and she would not even listen to me! She just basically said for me to see this neurologist and in the meantime I am supposed to suffer because my stim is not working or even charging properly!

I am also nervous about seeing yet another doctor, I already have to see so many and I always worry about them not believing me because I am so young. I am just so sad and depressed right now because I remember what it felt like when the stim was working and I was doing great and could walk normal and even exercise! I was not even on any pain meds except my neurontin then either but now its like we are back to the beginning again and it makes me very sad! They had to put me on a antidepressant because I was just crying everyday and did not even want to get out of bed. Its hard because I am dealing with other health problems too and they can be very overwhelming. I think it makes it worse when the doctor will not listen to you or take you seriously!

All I want is to be able to get through college and be a teacher so I can help kids ( I even lost my tutoring job because of all this) and then when we are done with college we want to adopt. I try to keep a good attitude through all this but its hard and I feel very overwhelmed right now! I talk to my therapist about it but that only helps so far. Anyway, I thought I would try to join this community so I can talk to other people that are like me. I am sorry this is so long but thanks for reading it!