Dear Majo,
That is exactly it.
They want to pretend that everything is fine.

My father's favorite expression is "Stanno tutti bene."
http://www.flixster.com/movie/stanno...verybodys-fine
Years before that 1990 movie came out, he often said "everything is fine." It is his mantra.

Whenever I call, I tell him and mom that everything is fine. They know darned well that lots of things are not fine.
That is how it works in my family from the nephews to the great aunt, to the sister-in-law ------ everybody buys into the idea of pretending.

M.