yes yes YES i DO know the 'straddling the fence' thing!! All too well!
I was very stressed out and frustrated the first 2 days of my trial, and was in PAIN from the trial procedure itself (HUGE needle in the spine!)
plus i felt very 'rushed' with my trial.
I was confused, stressed, hurting, scared all at the same time.....

By day 3, tho things seemed to start falling into place and i ended up having the trial for 3 extra days than what i was scheduled for (thanks to a mixup with their schedule)
I was able to slow down and relax into it more and the needle pain was gone..

I'm wondering maybe yours is set too 'high' or something? What if you used the slowest, less intense setting (you probably already are), but I'm just trying to put myself there at the scene with you.....
That intense pain you get after you turn the stim off is a total bummer.
It's almost as tho your body is reacting with a rebellious 'flare' after having the stim on......?......do you feel at least a 50-75% pain relief when it is turned on?

Please, Lord I pray this evens out..... take the intenseness away....
Bring PEACE into the mix and let Lily get relief!!


Rae