Sorry, i feel like such a huge burden on everyone here and such a negative influence on people who are getting better. I don't even know what to say. I feel like if I left that hearing my crap would benefit everyone.

I just want to get a handle on things ya know? I am going downhill and I don't know how to stop. I want to get better, and then hearing things that my mom says and my insomnia specialist says just put me down even farther. I don't even know how to describe things and my memory is horrible. I have had ECT on 3 different occasions I have been told....and have severe dissociation as well...and things just have gotten to the point that my memory is failing and it's frusterating me.

I am sorry for everything. I just am at a loss right now and don't know how to deal with this.

Thanks,
Jen