Bugguy , Children are truly a gift from god imo , I could not imagine how tough those two years had to be .... I was diagnosed in 99 and now have a almost two yr old granddaughter who I have missed out on a lot of activities as well , however I am able to be with her on good days . She has attached herself much more to my wife as I cannot do a whole lot with her and that does hurt , so in a way I do understand where you are coming from. I have learned to hold on very tightly to the good memories we create and do the best I can with it . I think children have a 6th sense of things as when I am really hurting she will curl up next to me on the couch and just lay with me .... which is unusual for her as she is normally 90 mph .... Sorry for the time you have lost as I know it cannot be replaced but just make sure to remember the goodness a child brings into our lives ! Take care ...