Dear RUReady,

I am sorry that you are struggling with all of the details that this disease brings you too, the choices that we make under distress, the worry, the weakness that one feels when living in this pain and the losses that we all suffer. It is so overwhelming, and just plain wrong. I am sorry you have gotten invaluable advice and support from anywhere but especially here. Never feel that you are not being heard the fact is that you are writing and people are reading your posts. I do not know you, you don't know me, but I pray for you everynight. Sometimes, I just read the posts but feel so horrible myself I just shut it down and pray. I can share with you some of my coping skills and I do, I have learned to meditate, I have learned to manage my time around my pain, I have learned many exercise techniques, I love to cook, so I get creative with that, I keep my house up pretty nice, I am tackling the destressing issues now, but I mean seriously, I am starting to get lethargic. The truth is, I would rather be doing anything besides dealing with this disease. Focus on the little things, they mean so much, next time your grandbaby is in your arms really take a deep breath and focus on the moment, feel her in your arms, you will be amazed. Check out the sky after a horrible storm as the sunsets so beautifully, listen to the birds, go fishing, if you like to fish, take a walk and as you are walking look around and listen. You will learn your own way my friend, its not easy and I am not going to try to convince you any different. I have days where I can't do any of the above things, and it is so boring to say the least. But I do get up the next day and attempt them again. I know deep down in my heart whether it be a good day or bad day that I have done the very best that I could do. Maybe not what I use to be able to do, but that was then and this is now. I miss working too and plan to go back to at least part time, not what I was able to do, but I am keeping the door open for something that will work for me. I have great passion for animals so I am considering donating some time to a shelter. Just ask yourself every morning what can I do today to make somebody elses day brighter. There is no magic bottle, in time, you will find a way to manage and regain some quality of life. I am not there yet and may never get there, and don't care... but today I hugged my daughter and sent my son off to the lake with some cookies and banana bread, for this I am grateful. Just take it a day at a time, don't overwhelm yourself with too many thoughts and if you have to (like me my brain just keeps going) then try to fill them with good thoughts. You are a great guy with compassion and very knowledgeable, be patient with yourself, this is not a test, we are not in a hurry to get nowhere! LOL. God Bless you my friend, may peace be with you.

Jeanie