the time seems to trickle by so slowly.................................. why is it the minutes crawl but the years race?

i am tempted to hop straight to 50 but... sigh. patience, patience.

i more than halved the 2 big piles of papers i had under the desk. found a bunch of obsolete stuff i could throw out. hooray. also managed to file some of the more important stuff. i did it very slowly. a bit at a time.
what's left is mostly "miscellaneous" ack...

i have been staying up all night for a while now. at first i was trying to sleep and unable to sleep. even with meds. the past few nights i haven't bothered. who cares. i sure as ehll don't right now.

oh i do sleep - in the day. in the past i would have woken up by house sounds... have been sleeping through everything - talking, laundry, cooking, tv, you name it. one time i stayed up all night and then all day to try to 'wrap around' ... failed. come night, i wasn't tired and was up all night again. screw it. i don't want to be around in the day anyway. i don't want to be around life i just want to be alone in the dark.

~ waves ~