The suicide of a loved one reshapes us. Our beliefs and perceptions have been shaken by the deliberate, permanent departure of a person we have cared for, depended on, cherished, and nurtured. To the existential question of "Why?," our loved ones have answered, "Why not?" and have chosen to leave. We must deal not only with their irreversible decision but also with all the unfinished business they have left behind.

No Time to say Goodbye....Author Carla Fine


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Our daughter was home this last week and she accompanied me to the Suicide Support Meeting. We were of course remembering and sharing with the moderator...I still have the beautiful letter our daughter sent to us about six months after Michael died...she asked me, "did you love Michael more? Weren't she and her sisters reason enough for me to continue living?" Of course I did not say what I thought...it isn't that I loved Michael more..it's that I buried Michael.

She also reminded me that she was working at a Counseling Center when he died...she has an MSW so her boss thought it would be a good idea to give her all the "suicide" casework that came in the door.

Perhaps that was theraputic but how difficult it must have been for her!
Here I am 21 yrs later and still learning things.