Cry............hysterically. This usually after having coped & coped & coped until I can't cope anymore.

Then pick myself up & start coping all over again. But then I have more than just pain on my plate. I have the loss of my step-grandson Ron (whom we raised as our own) in 2007 & the loss of my daughter in 2009 to deal with. And even tho it has been years I still mourn the loss of my parents too. They were my rock. I also mourn the loss of 7 yrs between 7/91 & late in '97 from a car wreck injury when I was disabled due to a whiplash. I lost the ability to be a decent parent to my kids during that whole time & those were crucial years for them. Then to come back from that injury & a few years later in '03 to having RSD to present day. Along with having very painful Fibromyalgia since '89 & Sjogrens since 03 also, along with Osteopenia 2.5 yrs ago........(I get another bone scan in a week so hoping that has been rectified)

Yesterday I fell apart because I almost died. If I had waited 3 more minutes in my car before going into a place of business I would be dead. A car came barreling into the parking lot, right where I had been walking 3 mins previously & proceeded to smash into 2 cars, demolishing one entirely & pushing a 2nd into 2 more cars. One has no trunk left & she would have pinned me into that one. Her topper ended up where that car had been sitting. I had almost parked next to that car & it would have been my car destroyed also. We all heard the car crash. And all day after that I was a mess. I had a doctors appt after my hair appt & my blood pressure was high, as was my heart rate & that was all an hour & half after it happened. I shake just thinking about that. I have had tooooo many close calls like this one in my life. And today is my BD. Nice huh??? I thank God that I am here to be another year older.

DebbyV

DebbyV