Hi, my name's Kay. 1st off: there should be a "manic" option for "my mood," but I guess I'm drunk & that fits. So, whatever.

I have progressive MS, bipolar II, and GAD. I'm 30 yo., female, and I'm married. I'm not going to have children. I have 3 cats & they're my babies.
Unfortunately, I'm on SSDI because of physical handicaps, cognitive deficits, and MH issues.

Both my parents were alcoholics, as is my husband (surprise, surprise!). I had a hard childhood and was verbally and sexualy abused.
My mother passed away in 1997. My dad has mellowed a bit, and has been married twice since. I have an sister (31) and a brother (21).

I see a psychologist every 2-3 weeks, and a MH nurse practitioner every month. I have an emergency plan and try to do what I can to promote a better quality of life for myself.

For MH meds, I take: lamictal, effexor, low-dose xanax, and trazadone.

I take monthly infusions of Tysabri for my MS.

I have pain issues because of MS and Tysabri treatment- and it isn't currently well controlled.

My neurologist gave me a sample pack of nuvigil for fatigue at the last visit. I've used the old-school version, provigil, in the past with some success. I took one pill last Friday and I've been manic ever since. I will not take it again, even at a reduced dose, ever.

I usually sleep about 12 hours a day + naps, but operate poorly on that. I've had a couple of totally sleepless nights in the last week or so, 2 good nights' rest, and several nights of hourly wake ups. I'm like the walking dead. Meds were keeping highs/lows/suicidal thoughts minimal and less severe... with exceptions.

Cognitive problems + lack of sleep + mood disorder= 1 red hot mess

Alcohol intake & number of cigarettes have increased. I'm irritable, can't sit still, and can't stop all the racing thoughts.
I keep thinking I'm finally going to come down, but it hasn't happened, but I'll welcome it when it comes.

Right now, I'm at my worst. Can't stop talking, but my husband can't understand me because I'm so tired I'm slurring. My ability to find words and make sense is failing, but I don't think I should be made fun of because of it. My mind is dragging my body around.

Nice intro, eh? I was holding back, as I'm sure you can understand.

-Kay