Did I throw you a loop? Good, because I thought if the ball was thrown high enough in the air we could all look up, focus on that ball, get our bod hurtling toward the ball as it reaches its apex and begins freefall. Got that eye on the ball..... running.... pant.... eye on the ball..... and WHAM there was Karl, running from the opposite direction, watching the same ball and we collided. Is this a real Karl.. nope.... just distracting you, purposely.

So much is on your plate right now. So much. Piano [and I am glad for you that final was in front of a compassionate teacher], the trauma you have endured in prior life, the new life with your husband, that PAIN, the old issue of the hysterectomy- and such a traumatic issue that was and continues to be, the wheel on your wheelchair falling off, the tug and pull of class demands, volunteering, and the fear of just what is going on with your uncooperative stim unit of late complicated by the fall and the upcoming neurological appointment. Had I been speaking that sentence, I would long since have run out of breath before finishing.... the volunteering.... and THEN there is Karl. Karl is no one in particular, but for you he is the fella who threatens to slam into you as you have your eye on the ball. Just as some of these "other" issues threaten to take your focus off of whatever is, for the moment, the important issue.

Take a deep breath and look at your hands. Notice yourself for a moment. Just you, well, maybe your husband because after all he is quite a blessing. Reflect on all of these matters which are stacked up in your life. So MUCH that you could collide with Karl. It is enough to overwhelm even a bystander like me!

Some of these fretful issues can maybe be placed into your order of priority. Do you have to invest your personal emotional capital in everything to the same measure at the same moment, or can you step back, gain perspective, see that some things like those who would "dump" on you are maybe a low priority and should kind of take a back seat to some of those more important issues.

So, when I begin to feel somewhat overwhelmed, I may just take stock. Try to figure out whether I might be at risk of "running into Karl" and put some things aside if my emotional capital cannot handle all of it at once.

I would be willing to hazard a guess that your husband will help you with ordering priorities on these things if you really really share with one another. In our household, I became much less a DOLT when I abandoned the usual "firm, staid, quiet, reserved guy posture" and started just blurting stuff out to my wife. She said that until that moment of opening up it had been as though we just shared a home and children because I didn't talk much at all. Kinda hard to figure that one out now if you have read my posts, isn't it?

So, it is quite alright for you to share those "golly gee whizzes" of the overwhelming life here with us, and probably with your husband too.

In the meantime, I will keep my eye out for Karl.....
Hoping I didn't "put my foot in my mouth" here,
Praying you can slow down just a smidgen,
Mark56 PJ