Just don't leave things that should be said, unsaid! Once folks are gone? They are gone... restrain on the 'family 'issues'', and more on the you and I issues, and what has been good? And the wish that other things could've been fixed, tho they weren't.
That sounds unpleasant? But it's not, really. Why? Because whatever has caused good or ill will between you is gonna be disolved soon.
I did that with a relative, and got a final 'I'm sorry' which will keep me going thru all sorts of nasty potential mind-traps and other things for my lifetime. And, I'm not going to get into any future 'mind-traps' anytime soon! You have to go thru with things honestly, cleanly and with heart felt clarity.
Of course? This is far easier said than done? But take a step back and look at it from afar? Then more closely. That motivates others, even family, is waaay different from what motivates US! I don't know about you? But I tend to back away from these 'things'? Only as a way of self preservation or sanity. IF you sort it out clearly in your mind? Sometimes you can clear the air and have better relationships with other family members.
And YES!!!! Hospice care folks do deserve something MORE than gold stars! I got to see that first hand last year when I was in a 'rehab facility'! Some carers were soo super? Others were downright nasty! We do deserve care with dignity? Tho at times it just doesn't happen!
My heart is with you, and I'm crying now... so -- 's! - j