Hi Manda...great to hear from you. I'm sorry you are ruminating over your past experiences...old habits die hard and I have been where you are now. I know that Lonely1 has also. Finding a way to break that cycle of beating ourselves up and giving away our "power" to those who don't deserve our time is difficult. And Blue is right about being tired.

You deserve better, you need to stop beating yourself up. I know it's easier said than done but remember that you aren't alone...we care and are here for you.