I have both BP II and ADHD- and a big list of other health and mental health problems.

The past year I've had a lot of memory loss due to some physical problems that are going on neurologically. Plus I take a lot of meds that can also cause memory loss as well- but I've been on them since 2003: so if they were to cause memory loss- we would have caught it a very, very long time ago and all of this memory loss stuff would have started to show up back then. But it didn't. This year- it has been a complete mess!

I have been doing the following strange things and don't realize it until I find things that I've done- "LATER": The coffee pot put into the fridge, clothes put into the dryer/washer- not turned on: go to see if they are 'done'- and find out I never turned either of both machines on (this happens on a daily occurance), forget I'm cooking (a lot- so I am trying to use the crock pot to ensure cooking safety measures), get lost when I'm driving to doctor appts. or running errands (in a town we have lived at for 8 years. Hmm.. Do not understand that one at all! I could go on and on - Do you see what I'm talking about?

DH thinks he has ADHD- and thinks he 'knows what it is all about'- etc. and that it is a multi-tasking illness; he has absolutely no clue. He thinks 'that is my biggest problem'. NO CLUE WHATSOEVER.

Today- This is the latest thing I did and it will end up costing us $1,000 to correct my latest damage to our home due to a new mess from my malfuntioning brain (which DH thinks I just don't THINK thru my processing when I think- but I actually do think thru- something isn't working in my brain!)

Potty training dog: Dog isn't doing well. Bought a potty spray scent to spray on grass and potty pads. For some really odd reason, I sprayed it on the 'carpet'- saturated it infact (have lost my sense of smell/hearing- long story)- something severely is wrong with me neurologically, very wrong. THEN put the potty pads on top of the sprayed carpet (the potty attractive sprayed carpet-drenched evidentally (without even realizing I did it at that time).

Five minutes later doing something else I suddenly realized what had happened- Freaked out! Told DH- I had to. Due to loss of smell- only could smell a faint smell of the sprays- sons and DH were sick due to the 'vast spraying' I had done to the carpet. It was a huge mess!

I did a search online and found a way to saturate it up to get the stench out but more than likely we will have to completely replace the carpet- which is expensive and only 4 months old.

Talk about feel like true crap. This week I have been acting very strange- not like my usual self. Have some very serious health problems. No one in either of our families give a crap; no one. None of my friends care to listen about my health issues- I feel so alone. My DH finally blew up at me about the mental/phsycial health. Due to the physical issues- it has limited our social life and family life functioning.

Right now I'm at the lowest point in my life. Tomorrow at least I meet with my counselor. It won't make much of a difference. I just feel like all I am is one big piece of a walking nightmare for my DH. To our families- a huge joke.

They think I'm a drama queen.

Thank you for listening to me whine and bicker.