Dear Debbie,
i am sorry you are going through this. do you see a counselor or therapist as well as the doctor(s)?
i want to let you know of another forum here that you might also want to participate in, or read...
Survivors of Suicide Forum
these are all folks who have in some way been touched by suicide - some have attempted and survived, some might be struggling with thoughts of suicide, some have survived the loss of a loved one to suicide... etc.
also here is a good online resource:
www.metanoia.org
~ waves ~