Quote:
|
I now have to rely on my church and others for help, I have a nice couple next door who go to my church and give me rides there, they came over a week ago and put up plastic on my windows since they rattle they said and cold air comes in, also they came by and help me get my fire wood in my house and on my porch, I thank them so much for helping me. I have meals on wheels come by and I talk to them awhile, also have to go to Saint Louis for treatments and have people at my church take me there it is such a long ride to get help. I feel like I owe everyone for helping me, like I am no use and cant do anything for myself anymore without help. I had people come by from church the young kids this past summer and paint my outside of my house since it looked so bad, I feel like I’m the town charity case they got me this computer to help so I don’t feel so alone. I hope to talk with others in Missouri too. I have RSD and was once self reliant and did things now I’m no use, I hope I can be on your board with you I just do not want to be a Burdon any more.
|
Lil, I think all of us go thru those times where we feel like you do - that we are a burden to our friends, neighbors and those we love. That we are "no use" and we feel alone, etc.
But when I read your post, know what I saw? I picked out these words just from your original post:
friends (most people have "acquaintences" - but you have "friends!" That's very very special!)
the Ozarks (how I'd love to see the Ozarks!)
small towns (I live in one now and LOVE it!)
church (A wonderful place to belong!)
help from others (some people have trouble getting help..be thankful, hon)
nice couple next door (you're blessed. I've moved several times cuz of awful neighbors!)
young kids who painted your house for you (you actually got teenagers to do something GOOD for you? Oh MY!)
people who cared enough to get you the computer (how beautiful a gesture is that????)
I think, from reading that, you have truly, truly been blessed.
And if you believe you are a burden, I beg to differ. When people are kindhearted, and WANT to help, their joy comes in helping people. Therefore, you are actually brining people joy...rather than being a burden to them. And, honestly, it sounds as though you are WONDERFUL company, Lil. And just being there to talk to, to hang out with, to have coffee with on a cold day is probably what some of these people cherish and look forward to.
So don't think you are a burden to them. I'm sure if they thought you were, they wouldn't be helping you with these things. I've found that those who feel that way, usually help a couple of times, and then stop. They don't continue to help.
So be still in your heart, Lil, and know peacefully that you surely aren't burdening these wonderful people who are so thoughtful and generous. They are obviously doing it for reason other than pity or charity or selfishness. They are doing it because they want to...and out of love.
