Virginia, I feel sadness for you and I want to help. I don't have anything near as horrible as what you are going through, but you can talk to me and I will listen. You can post here, or you can have my email. There is a messenger that you can download easily and responses are instant. Or if you would rather relate more closely to someone I am sure Leesa will be perfect for that, since you both have back pain. Let me know, I will help if I can.