Hi Frustrated Spouse,
There is definitly hope for you and your wife but you need to give it time (which is difficult). My wife was in a relativly minor car accident 22 months ago. She was diagnosed with PCS 2 months after the event. We have been to many doctors for answers and treatment. She is heavily medicated and is still in pain but we still have hope even though it is very difficult to keep hoping at times. If I look back I can say she has improved over time but we are far from being back to where we were. It is rare for someone to have the disorder as long as my wife has and they say in many cases in can be permanent so the odds are still very much with you and your wife for a complete recovery.
It is not an easy thing for us husbands to deal with. I am struggling with depression because of the possibility that this may be a permanent condition for her.The feeling of not being able to help is terrible. She was the primary bread winner and she lost her job back in Feburary but had not worked since the accident. The financial strain is tough. We take it one day at a time and look for the bright spots and when I get to feeling stressed about money I focus back on her situation and look for positives.
She has another condition from the accident called cervical dystonia that requires Botox injections to her shoulders and neck every 3 months for the rest of her life. The injections wear off 2-3 weeks before the next injection and it takes another 2-3 weeks for it to take effect so we have like a month and a half of increased headaches, fatigue, sensitivity and general pain several times a year. We are in that phase right now which is why I joined this site.
I to get frustrated because of what I lost and at times I have to really beat myself up with guilt to get focused back on what I can do for her. I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling this way but you are right, it can increase their symptoms so we need to keep it from getting to them. Hang in there!
I wish you and your family a quick and full recovery.
Tim