You aren't being harsh. I think you are on a good track having a lawyer involved.

Have you started filing for SS disability? I never thought I would feel so bad to have to get it but I did and I used a lawyer. Most disability lawyers collect a percentage of back pay for their services only and when you are awarded benefits. It helps a lot. I never wanted it as I have worked hard all of my life. I worked my way into a position as a VP of operations and stayed with my company for 25 years. My employer was understanding but I was loosing more and more time due to illness. I quietly retired and then applied for disability. It is one of the most disappointing things I have had to do in my life...but completely necessary.

I hope you feel better soon. Please try not to worry. I know that is easy for me to say, but it will only make you feel worse...

Mere