Hi everyone, I just wanted to post an update. I have not been around in a few days because my husband and I went on a little get away to brown county in Nashville Indiana. Since we weren't able to do our original honeymoon trip we came up with this alternative one which was very good for us! It was a nice time and great to be away from the city even though we only live an hour away lol. It was sad though because I was in so much pain I did not get to walk around and explore and go to the shops. We did bring my wheelchair but none of the stores were accessible and I tried just using my walker and that was way too painful Luckily, we had a nice room with a hot tub which I spent most of my time in! We just got back and he is going to take me to a romantic dinner tonight so that will be fun.

We also talked to my stim rep and my doctor and she is sending me to some one else because according to her she has done all she can do with me. But my stim guy said he would still be with me which makes me very happy! I guess this is the best thing because she has not been very helpful lately and just makes me more upset and does not seem to care that I am in pain even though she was the one that put the stim in me. I am going to try to be optimistic that this new pain doctor will be able to help me and if this one is not good I will find someone else because I should not have to suffer like this especially after going through all these surgeries! But that is life I guess and I am trying to come to terms with the fact I will probably never have the life I used to have and I may not ever have my stim working as good as it used too either. I have a CT scan tomorrow because my new neuro wanted me to have it after my EMG but he thinks that it won't show anything either so we will see.

I probably won't be around too much because we start school on Monday and I have other doctor/conditions I have to deal with and hopefully get help with. I also am having a very VERY ROUGH time in dealing with all this and am very frustrated, angry, sad, and depressed that my stim has let me down after it was such a great help And when I get like this I am not much help to anyone so I tend to keep to myself. Also, I ended up not being able to take some of my courses I wanted because I just cannot physically do the on campus classes right now and to make things easier on myself I am doing classes online (although classes online are not easy I just meant easy in a physical way). I am hoping to get an appt with this new pain doctor very soon because I am having so much trouble walking due to my stim not working right. It is really hard for me to do much of anything right now because of all this pain but I am still trying to hang in there and to focus on my goals (graduating in May and keeping my grades high so that I can get into teaching program!). I will definitely post back on here after I get that new doctor or if I get any test results.

I just wanted to let you all know this and just because I won't be able to be very active in posting I still read responses and postings and will be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers! Good luck to all the new stim recipients, I hope that you find the pain relief you need and are able to have better lives I also hope that the whole group of stim users that I have come to know and lean on and learn from are doing great too! You are all amazing and very strong and have helped me so much and made me feel like I am no longer alone Take care!

Tara