Hi gambit!
I read your posting and I can identify with everything you said! I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder several years ago, when I was only 16. well, actually, my first diagnosis was "psychotic". That Dr. was just frustrated with me, and didn't know what was wrong. The first real diagnosis I got was Bipolar Disorder. I was treated successfully for this for a few years. Then, I changed Doctors, for financial reasons, and had another suicide attempt. Was hospitalized for a short period, and got a new diagnosis (schizoaffective).
I soon met my husband after this hospitilization and was pretty stable for the next seven years. Which brings us up to date. I recently had another episode, I returned from the hospital Tue. of this week. My medication was adjusted, and I'm feeling pretty normal now(all things considered).
The episode recently, was the worst I have ever experienced. It was reminiscent of my first episode. I was very depressed, antisocial, staring, completely absorbed in thought about one thing, and delusional.
Stress was a huge factor in the onset of my symptoms. I just got internet and I got it for the sole purpose of discussing my problems (and getting info.) The stress that sent me to the hospital involves my husband and another man. I've never cheated on my husband. And NEVER would. But the attention I was getting from this other man was extremely stressful to me, and caused me to question the love I have for my husband. It's a very sticky situation for a reason I am not willing to share. And very hurtful. And very STRESSFUL!!!!