called, no one has called back, and it's past the time the neuro usually would call back. ~sigh~

I havent been hungry. But, if I eat something I have no problem eating it...kind of like my stomach doesnt realize that it's hungry until food hits it.

The not being hungry part is a bit disturbing, but if I dont eat, I dont think I'll start starving for at least 50 or 60 pounds. (I'm in the 250, 260 range for weight, so I'm really not bothered about not being hungry if it means that some weight will get lost, hopefully the flare will go away and I'll be able to go back to normal tho and actually work out some to keep the weight down)

I havent been sleeping well lately. I'm uncomfortable with the numbness and the spasticity is just annoying enough to keep me from sleeping. I didnt sleep till about 6am this morning, and got up around 130pm. The spasticity isnt painful (yet) but it's uncomfortable enough to keep me from being able to relax to sleep. I havent found the magic combination of baclofen and valium to calm the spasticity down yet. (I never did find the magic combination back in May either...I just threw baclofen at it until I could sleep)

I dont like the stoned feeling I get from the baclofen and valium. I dont know why people take valium for the fun of it. Makes me feel icky.

It's 70 degrees in my room. I'm cold but still feel hot (no fever tho, thermometer claims I'm "normal")

I noticed eating earlier that some of the numbness in my face feels like it's going over to the other side where it wasnt before.

It's just really disturbing to feel like crap, have funky sensations and weird stuff going on. I just want to feel normal again for awhile. (by "awhile", I mean for 3 or 4 decades)

I feel kind of weak, but that might be from not feeling hungry. The weakness is bugging me because when I go to take a shower I feel shaky. My bathroom is supposed to get remodeled soon, but they're not moving as quickly as I want them to. (taking out the fiberglass insert, putting in tiles and a ton of grab bars...at least 3 in the shower and two just outside of the shower...I want something to hold onto that wont snap off the wall or the shower door if gravity suddenly sucks me to the floor) I'm kind of scared to take a shower because it's a cramped shower space with that stupid fiberglass seat taking up all the space in the corner. Not having a grab bar or three to hold onto while I'm washing my hair makes me a little nervous to take a shower. I went about 5 days this week without taking a shower because of that.

I dont want to use my parents shower because it wasnt built to code (getting irritated at people/contractors who seem to like to screw my dad out of money) His shower is getting redone at the same time mine is done and I'm the one who found the contractors this time. (I got references and a decorator and I'm asking to see the permits and I'll be watching them build it so I know what's being put in. I have a basic working knowledge of how things are supposed to be done now)

I'm just really tired, frustrated and really uncomfortable from all the MS crap that's going on. At least, so far, it's not as painful as it was in May when this flare started and I had the giant, invisible python around my waist. (knock on wood that the giant, invisible python doesnt come back for a visit)

I just want this stupid flare to quit and go away so that I can hopefully go back to what passed for normal before. Plus I want to be able to watch the contractors do our remodels. (taking in-progress pictures if I'm able to so that I can how things are done, and if in the future we have to fix anything I can look at the pictures and see what was used in the remodel)

hopefully the neuro will call me back in the morning and either reassure me that the MS isnt about to beat me up or he'll offer me a $5 bottle of oral steroids to throw at the flare. (probably wont. I had IVSM last summer, oral 'roids last october, and IVSM AND oral 'roids in May of this year...think that's the limit of what he'll give me in a years time)

The MS is just really peeving me off.