Hi Deb ... ... I'm so very far from being an expert I have no business trying to write.
But I sure know how it feels to be alone and overwhelmed in a dark place.
One thing I do is just leave my house ... get in my car and drive to some place BUSY .... WalMart. I walk around, leaning against a cart until I'm tired.
Many people smile and talk to me.
And (at home) I bake and bake and bake. I make cookies being careful to do it correctly ... find a new recipe and try it.
The most important thing for me is church. I go to a very small, very happy church where I was truly welcomed. (That's where I take my cookies ) I feel important there - loved and looked after.

And I want you to know I care ... I understand what you said and how you feel. Talk to me some more.