Grady lady,

Sorry to hear of your continued struggles.

This decision to not teach is a tough one to be sure. I have worked in self-employment since I was 19. Now, my wife needs to work to keep us afloat. I had retired her from gainful employment the month before we got married. Now, thirty years later, she has re-entered the work force and makes less than she made per hour in 1980. The US Census Bureau pays lousy wages unless you live in a high cost of living area. Proctoring "No Child Left with a Mind" tests pays just as poorly.

When I had to make the decision to stop working with her constant assistance and apply for Social Security Disability, we thought we could make it with SSDI and a small Work Comp paycheck. Well, the WC paycheck was denied. I qualify for SSDI but do not have enough disability to qualify for WC. Go figure.

Tough decisions.

It sounds like you have a rural home setting. Have you considered what you can do by getting outdoors as often as possible? I used to love walking my two late beagles around the farmers fields until they built houses on those fields. I find that nature's sounds are soothing to my brain.

Maybe a dog to accompany you on walks outside will be helpful. You can start some new tracks in the wilderness as you find the new you. Maybe you could offer foster care for rescue animals as a short term experiment for a walking companion. Pets are great at helping one with a regular schedule. My beagles would bring me their leashes at about the same time each day.

My 84 year old mom gets rousted by her cock-a-poo to walk around the block to get the mail.

I have similar driving limits. I find that I can drive in certain situations. My biggest problem is distractions. I can easily forget that I am driving if I get distracted. One thing I have found is that a vehicle that has lots of feed-back to the driver helps me stay focused on the task of driving. If I get in my wife's cushy Yukon SUV, I will easily get distracted. If I try driving my rickety old pick-up truck with all of it's rattles, I do much better.

I have to avoid congested traffic areas. They easily overwhelm me. I have been flipping used cars recently. The newness of each car helps me stay focused for the few miles I need to drive them as I repair and road test them. The problem solving challenges that have no set time requirement give me a good outlet for brain exercise.

Have you started an application for Social Security Disability Insurance? Or, have you chosen to not participate in Social Security with a teachers' plan that qualifies for exemption? Getting the application started creates a task to follow through with.

I struggle with getting tasks started much less finished. There is a medical term for it when it is physiologically caused. Something like Initiation Disorder. Common to brain injury subjects. My wife leaves notes for me to find to get tasks done. Occasionally, I can act without prompting. I have to look around the house and try to find something that triggers a thought of a task, like doing a load of laundry or unloading the dishwasher.

Miracles do happen.

As you consider you current situation, you might notice that your limitations are often similar to the limitations of some students. Our educational system seriously misses the boat when it tries to provide services for students with sensory difficulties and cognitive limitations. My wife notices many school environments where I would be quickly overwhelmed.

As you take inventory of your condition, you have an excellent opportunity to gain understanding from the perspective of students with educational challenges.

Are you in the Sunapee Lakes region or the Winnepesaukee Lakes region? My dad used to take us canoeing on Sunapee and we would vacation and water ski on Winnepesaukee. My family settled on the north side of Winnepesaukee about 300 years ago. I'd love to be able to walk the woods of New Hampshire again. But, I live in Idaho so I will just make do and enjoy my west coast grandkids.

btw, What grades and subjects do you teach?

My best to you.