Well, I have been trying really hard to stay optimistic and keep hope that I would get my pain appt and then I called and they did not have my REFERRAL or even know my doctor was getting me an appointment! After that I had to head to my hematologist office for bloodwork and the usual and I was in alot of pain but trying to hold it in. I was in my wheelchair because of all the pain and not being able to walk today because my stim was not charging and causing problems to both legs. Anyway, the nurse came to take me back and I started crying. I never ever cry in public and here I am really crying and I cried all the way back there and finally stopped after the blood pressure was taken and the nurse had given me some water. I thought I had it together but then a new doctor came in and he was so nice and actually seemed to care about me and asked me if I was all right, I cried again and he was not mad or made fun of me he actually listened to me! I explained the whole horrible experience with my stim doctor and how she wont help me and how the records and referral won't get sent over and he patiently listened and I also told him about the cat scan. He had a copy and said that there are no pinched nerves or anything and that the STIMULATOR was the problem! Finally, someone who listened and actually said what I had been thinking all along, I was so happy to finally feel like I wasn't with someone putting me down and fighting me! Then he said he is personally getting me into their pain specialist office and that I will not have to deal with my stim doctor's office and that this whole thing is ridiculous and that he was going to make sure I finally was given some help that I needed and deserved! I feel like my prayers were answered in this appointment and even though I was embarassed about causing a scene (crying in front of everyone at the doctor office) I think people there took me seriously and understood how bad things are and that I am suffering a lot and need help! My husband was great during all this too and was not mad that I cried in front of the doctor. I just wanted to share this because I think I learned a lesson that sometimes you need to let your true feelings out instead of trying to hold everything in just to not make other people feel uncomfortable! I also learned that it was okay to cry when I was in pain and that the more I hold it in the worse it is and it just actually felt a bit better to let all of those feelings out and just cry. So anyway, I shared this because I know other people that go through pain and I am hoping by sharing this they can see that it is okay to let our feelings show and we don't have to keep everything in all the time! Now I am truly having optimism because I know that this new doctor cares and will really get me into someone that is going to help me and I will be able to have a life again! I will let you all know when I get my appointment set up. Thank you so much for listening to me and giving me support and encouragement! Tara