Once again, thank you all so much. I keep trying to do what a friend of mine says in times like this - right foot, left foot, breathe. I just don't know though. I seriously want to not be anymore. I mean, it's so bad I can picture the different ways as if a fantasy and feel such darn relief. I'm pretty honest with my doctors and therapist but not completely. I don't want to go to the hospital again. I was there something like three times last year. That was in about a four month time frame. No more of that. It doesn't help. It feels like nothing helps enough anymore.

It's strange though. I've said this before. It's like posting here is like my journaling but more. Does that make sense? I feel like I can breathe for the first time today.

I don't even know you all and you've ALL become my lifesaver. I hope I can move past this and do the same for all of you.

Debbie